Drives me mad ..

A couple of handy driving tips to anyone thinking of visiting the UK this summer, illustrated by two shots I took – from the passenger seat –  on our journey back from Buckinghamshire last weekend…

Firstly, if you are a truck driver, you need to learn the art of parallel driving. This involves catching up to a lorry in front of you, then pulling alongside it and instantly reducing speed. The knack now is to maintain the speed of the wagon you just caught up with. This is vital, and will ensure that two out of three lanes on the motorway are well and truly blocked for, oh .. try to make it at least five miles!

Secondly, if you a car driver, it is essential that you DO NOT USE the inside lane! This lane is only for quirky individual farts and people with an IQ over 10. The rest of you must act like likkle fluffy sheep and FOLLOW THE CROWD. This will ensure that all three-lane motorways are instantly turned into dual carriageways and it’ll take us all that little bit longer to get to our destinations!

Now put your L plates back on, dumbo ..

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