I’ve learnt a lot from watching the Euros over the past week. First of all, I now know it’s very important to say that a team plays “on the front foot”. That makes it sound like they actually hop around the pitch, but there ya go. Secondly, everyone on a team must speak with their hand over their mouth. This is vital. Thirdly, if you’re stuck in traffic on the way home from work, it’s helpful to know that most games actually only achieve anything in the last 90 seconds of extra time. You should know too that players spend more time on their hair and beards than actually training. This is also vital. Ooh, such pretty boys! Finally, and most fascinatingly, I learnt that, in every game, each player – on average – covers the turf with approximately one and a half gallons of spit!